You really coming over, don't trick.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
