That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
