He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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