Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
