Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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