The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
