It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
