i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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