i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
