So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
