Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
porn star boner night. come get it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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