and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
