So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
