Define "chronic" masturbator.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
