high people should be assigned attendants
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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