remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
