i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm getting married
To pizza
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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