i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Oh god it's open bar.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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