I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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