Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
