based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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