I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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