Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
