everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
my being single is dangerous.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
