Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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