I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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