An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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