he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
