I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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