I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
