Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
