Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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