And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
