sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
