Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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