TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
