Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
