office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
