Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
