talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
