I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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