I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I woke up under a house in Key West
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