you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
