the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
