So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I will be naked everywhere
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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