if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Be still, my beating vagina.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
