I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
