Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
