I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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