he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
