Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
