My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
