Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
