worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There's always time for handjobs
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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